Chin-Ning Chu, author of The Asian Mind Game, offers up some advice on those who'd steal your serenity in Thick Face, Black Heart.
Keep a respectful distance from those who would steal your peace and serenity. In your daily life, you will run into this type of person around every corner. These people are not necessarily cunning or ruthless, nor are they a real threat to your career or personal objectives, but they are eternally annoying.They operate by thriving on their own inferiority. Their actions and words are very cutting, even though people are nice to them. They also are gutless. On the one hand, they play up to the ruthless and cunning types who treat them like dirt, and yet they are mean to people who are decent and kind to them. These serenity stealers are people to be avoided. Life put them in a place that they resent because they feel it is beneath them. To get even with life, they react by attacking those who are nice to them, while being very agreeable to those who abuse them.They cannot help themselves; their actions are involuntary. The serenity stealers steal into your heart and confidence with their sweet, charming exteriors. But after you allow them to get close to you, they will snap at you in order to diminish you in their eyes. They try to temporarily elevate their own inner power and feel good for a moment, but are useful remorseful afterward. They can't help themselves, and so the pattern continues.It is important not to interact with them in a similar manner. If you do, they will make a lifetime career of attacking you. These people are masters of "death by a thousand cuts." You should always keep them at arm's length. They will make a lifetime career of attacking you. Then they will eternally respect you and solicit your friendship. They will then transfer their troublesome energy to someone else.
Chu, Chin-Ning (1995) Thick Face, Black Heart. Allen & Unwin, St. Leonards. p.239.
