Viral Interaction

"Vitality arises from sheer human contact, especially from loving connections. The people we care about most are an elixir of sorts, an ever-renewing source of energy. The neural exchange between a parent and child, a grandparent and a toddler, between lovers or a satisfied couple, or among good friends, has palpable virtues.

Now that neuroscience can put numbers to that raw buzz of fellow feeling, quantifying its benefits, we must pay attention to the biological impact of social life. The hidden links among our relationships, our brain function, and our very health and well-being are stunning in their implications.

We must reconsider the pat assumption that we are immune to toxic social encounters. Save for the passing stormy mood, we often suppose, our interactions matter little to us at any biological level. But this turns out to be a comforting illusion. Just as we catch a virus from someone else, we may also "catch" an emotional funk that makes us more vulnerable to that same virus or otherwise undermines our well-being.

From this perspective, strong, distressing states like disgust, contempt, and explosive anger are the emotional equivalent of second-hand smoke that quietly damages the lungs of others who breathe it in. The interpersonal equivalent of health-boosting would be adding positive emotions to our surroundings.

In this sense, social responsibility begins here and now, when we act in ways that help optimal states in others, from those we encounter casually to those we love and care about most dearly. In accord with Whitman, one scientist who studies the survival value of sociability says the practical lesson for us all comes down to "Nourish your social connections."

Goleman, Daniel. "Social Intelligence" (2006). Arrow, New York. pp.318, 319.

Social Intelligence - Daniel Goleman

"As Cohen told me, "The most striking finding on relationships and physical health is that socially integrated people -- those who are married, have close family and friends, belong to social and relgious groups, and participate widely in these networks -- recover more quickly from disease and live longer. Roughly eighteen studies show a strong connection between social connectivity and mortality."

Devoting more time and energy to being with people in our lives whom we find most nourishing, Cohen says, has health benefits. he also urges patients, to the extent possible, to reduce the number of emotionally toxic interactions in their day, while increasing the nourishing ones."

Social Intelligence (2006), p. 247.